Archivist Workbench v3.0

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Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Back in the seventies, I never dared look twice
At those top shelf magazines—oh, the price!
If you got caught peeking at the newsagent’s stash
You’d be shamed for life, branded in a flash
The shame, the shame, just for a peek
Red-faced confessions, couldn’t show my beak

[Chorus]
But now the web’s wide open, with no corner shop walls
You can browse in your undies, no shame at all
VPNs for the naughty, privacy kings
But here comes the government, banning those things!

[Verse 2]
They say it’s for the children, to keep them all pure
But it’s always the grown-ups they’re really out to cure
From jazz mags to proxies, the story’s the same
Hide what you’re looking at, dodge all the blame
Once we hid behind bushes, now behind firewalls
But they’re moving the goalposts, raising the walls

[Chorus]
Yeah, the web was freedom, a digital spree
Now you need a VPN just to have privacy
But Big Brother’s watching, he’s got a new plan
He’s coming for your history and your VPN!

[Bridge]
Remember the brown paper bag, the nervous cash?
Now it’s browser tabs and a digital dash
Ink-stained fingers, trembling with dread
Now it’s “clear the cache,” and delete what you’ve read

[Final Chorus]
So here’s to the days of innocence gone
From sneaky old magazines to encrypted .com
If you’re banning VPNs, just know it’s true—
Where there’s a will, there’s always a way through!

[Outro]
The shame, the shame—it’s all gone online
But the government’s coming, one more time
So if you see me sweating, glued to my screen
Just know I’m reminiscing, back in my teens!

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