[Intro] [Smooth saxophone intro with a subtle synth pad]

[Verse 1] [Bryan Ferry Vocal Style, slightly weary]
Champagne wishes, caviar dreams, shattered on the floor
You wore Crocs to the opera, darling, what were you thinking for?
My expectations, once so high, now plummet to the ground
A diamond in the rough, my dear, is nowhere to be found

[Pre-Chorus] [Slightly more urgent synth melody]
I tried to teach you elegance, a whisper in your ear
But you preferred reality TV and lukewarm bargain beer

[Chorus] [Synth strings swell, backing vocals enter]
Oh, the horror, the disdain, the utter lack of grace
A symphony of bad taste etched upon your face
My heart, a fragile porcelain, you smashed without a care
Darling, your grooming standards are beyond repair

[Verse 2] [Saxophone interlude with a melancholic tone]
Remember that gala, the crème de la crème?
You used a butter knife to floss, a truly tragic scene
I saw the Countess faint, darling, it was quite a sight
Your utter lack of savoir-faire extinguished all the light

[Pre-Chorus] [Building intensity with layered synths]
I dreamt of whispered sonnets, of moonlit rendezvous
You burped the alphabet, my love, what's a poor man to do?

[Chorus] [Full orchestral arrangement with a hint of irony] 
Oh, the horror, the disdain, the utter lack of grace
A symphony of bad taste etched upon your face
My heart, a fragile porcelain, you smashed without a care
Darling, your grooming standards are beyond repair

[Bridge] [Piano solo with a jazzy feel]
Perhaps I was mistaken, blinded by a foolish hope
That beneath the tracksuit lurked a soul that could elope
To realms of sophistication, of art and poetry
But all I found was nasal hair and chronic apathy

[Chorus] [Tempo slows slightly, more emphasis on vocals]
Oh, the horror, the disdain, the utter lack of grace
A symphony of bad taste etched upon your face
My heart, a fragile porcelain, you smashed without a care
Darling, your grooming standards are beyond repair

[Outro] [Saxophone fades out with a final, mournful note]
Beyond repair... utterly, tragically, beyond repair. [Synth fades to silence]