[Verse 1][bass carries the melody]
I'm playing pool with Eric and Trevor down the pub,
Eric disappears—says he’s nipping out for some grub.
So I finish the game with Trevor,
sharing pork scratchings on the cushion,
all the while suffering through his daft jokes.

Eric reappears, wearing a cheeky grin,
But I’m left wondering where the hell he’s been.
There’s pub grub right here, pies and all—
So why did he have to leave the hall?
A little mystery for me to chew on.

[Verse 2]
I’ve known Eric and Trevor since junior school—
Three musketeers, always bending the rules.
And then through high school, thick as thieves,
Having a laugh, giving the teachers grief.

But lately Eric’s been—should we say—cagey.
I wonder if he’s got a bird on the sly, maybe?
He usually brags about every last fling,
But this time, nothing—not a thing.
Yeah, something’s off, I can tell by his grin.

[Chorus]
Something is amiss, something strange is going on,
I can’t put my finger on it, but something feels wrong.
There’s an itch in my brain, a joke I’m not told,
A sense of unease, and I’m out in the cold.

[Verse 3]
I notice Eric gives Trevor a cheeky old wink—
What’s that about? Makes me stop and think.
Is there a secret, a joke I’m not in on?
Why’s he gone quiet, what’s going on?
It’s not like Eric to keep his gob shut.

[Bridge]
I should just come out and ask them, "What the hell is this about?"
But the fear of looking like a mug is what it's all about.
So I'll just sip my lager with this nagging, gnawing doubt...
While they figure it out.

[Verse 4] 
Landlord rings the bell, so we down our pints,
Off to the chippy, out into the night.
But first, a cig behind the bins—
Conversation’s odd, not a word about women.
Everything but birds—now that’s not right.

Chips are munched, cartons chucked down the entry,
We make plans for pints again tomorrow.
Eric says he might be a little late,
Doing overtime at work or something.
I say goodnight to my pals and we all head home.

[Chorus]
Something is amiss, something strange is going on,
I can’t put my finger on it, but something feels wrong.
There’s an itch in my brain, a joke I’m not told,
A sense of unease, and I’m out in the cold.

[Verse 5]
In bed that night, my mind’s in a spin—
Why’s Sarah giving me so much leeway with my mates?
What’s up with Eric and Trev? It just doesn’t add up.
Soon enough, my thoughts are hijacked by dreams—
Zzzzzzzzz…

[speaking in a dream]
If you wouldn’t mind, please—
Who am I talking to?
This is all messing with my dreams…