[Music: A frantic, ska-punk rhythm kicks in, like a sped-up Madness track. A honking, slightly out-of-tune saxophone wails.]

[Verse 1]
Woke up this morning, feeling rather proud
Checked my YouTube channel, said it right out loud!
"Two-forty views!" I shouted to the cat
Went to make a coffee, and would you believe all that?
I came back refreshed, the numbers were a treat
But the screen just flickered and took a backward seat!

[Chorus]
You're messin' wiv my mind, YouTube, you're messin' wiv my brain!
I'm watchin' stats live unfold, but trufe isn't bein' told!
I was taught numbers as a kid, and when sumfink goes up it is UP!
But there's some kind of alien logic now, and my sanity is all shook up!

[Verse 2]
Refreshed the page again, it gave me quite a scare
Two-thirty-two it whispered, with a digital stare!
I checked the admin panel, a different world I saw!
Two-sixy-one it boldly stated, breakin' every law!
Is it a ghost? A glitch? A phantom in the code?
Draggin' my perception down a slippery, slipp'ry road!

[Chorus]
You're messin' wiv my mind, YouTube, you're messin' wiv my brain!
I'm watchin' stats live unfold, but trufe isn't bein' told!
I was taught numbers as a kid, and when sumfink goes up it is UP!
But there's some kind of alien logic now, and my sanity is all shook up!

[Bridge]
My analytics are schizophrenic, livin' in a dream!
One plus one is sometimes three, or so it'd truly seem!
It's a quantum state of viewership, both high and rather low!
Until you look directly, then the answer, it won't show!

[Saxophone Solo - Chaotic, joyful, and unhinged]

[Chorus]
You're messin' wiv my mind, YouTube, you're messin' wiv my brain!
I'm watchin' stats live unfold, but trufe isn't bein' told!
I was taught numbers as a kid, and when sumfink goes up it is UP!
But there's some kind of alien logic now, and my sanity is all shook up!

[Outro]
Shook up... shook up...
My sanity is shook...
[Frantic saxophone and bass fade out abruptly]