[Intro] [Frantic punk riff, car starting, Sat-Nav voice: “Turn around when possible.”]

Oi! Oi! Oi! Recalculating… again?!

[Verse 1]
Set off for Scotland, spirits running high
Dreaming of haggis, bagpipes, and pie
Punched in the postcode, set the course for fun
But Sat-Nav had a plan, and the trouble had begun

[Pre-Chorus]
First it took a left, then a double-back right
Every roundabout just led into the night
Wetherby? Where’s that? This can’t be true
I swear this device has got it in for you!

[Chorus] [Gang vocals, call-and-response]

Sat-Nav’s revenge! Lost on the road!
Eleven hours driving, about to explode
Sat-Nav’s revenge! Miles off track
I’m screaming at the dashboard, never coming back!

[Verse 2]
M62, then the A1M—
I passed the same sheep, at least ten of them
Service station coffee, nerves feeling frayed
This robot’s a sadist, it loves the mess it made

[Pre-Chorus]
“Turn around!” it cackles, with a digital sneer
“We’re recalculating—enjoy the next detour!”
I’m cursing at the windscreen, pounding on the wheel
My sanity’s in pieces, this pain is real!

[Chorus]
Sat-Nav’s revenge! Lost on the road!
Eleven hours driving, about to explode
Sat-Nav’s revenge! Miles off track
I’m screaming at the dashboard, never coming back!

[Bridge] [Shouted, spoken, unhinged]


Did I anger the satellites? Insult GPS?
Is my car possessed, or just under duress?
My family’s in Scotland, I’m stuck on the M1
If I ever get there, this Sat-Nav is done!

[Guitar Solo] [Chaotic, siren-like]

[Chorus]
Sat-Nav’s revenge! Lost on the road!
Eleven hours driving, about to explode
Sat-Nav’s revenge! Miles off track
I’m screaming at the dashboard, never coming back!

[Outro] [Sat-Nav voice, cold and robotic, fading out]

Recalculating… Recalculating…
Destination unreachable.
[Band: OI! OI! OI!]
