[Intro] [A lonely, jangling Marr-esque guitar riff, drenched in reverb. A melancholic cello line sighs underneath.]

[Verse 1]
I saw you in the supermarket
In the aisle for tinned soups and despair
You glanced at my basket, filled with bread for one
And you offered me a look I simply could not bear

[Verse 2]
You were with him, of course
Laughing at a pun on a bean can's label
The sheer, brute normality of it all
Saw me crushed beneath the kitchen table

[Pre-Chorus]
And the world, it screamed in vibrant, cheerful hues
A carnival of cruelty, designed to bring the news...

[Chorus]
[Music swells with soaring strings and a choir of angelic, wordless vocals]
That the excessive immenseness of my grief is crushing me
It's a grand, operatic tragedy the world refuses to see!
For a love that's lost to Heinz Tomato, and a heart that's ceased to be!
This monumental sorrow... is the death of me!

[Verse 3]
The checkout girl said "Have a nice day"
With a smile so bright and cheap and vile
I wanted to tell her that my day was slain
Back in Aisle Four, by a condescending smile

[Chorus]
[Even more dramatic, the singer's voice straining with the sheer weight of it all]
And the excessive immenseness of my grief is crushing me!
A Wagnerian epic, set in a British grocery!
For a glance exchanged over cream of mushroom, don't you see?
This monumental sorrow... is the death of me!

[Outro]
[Music fades to just the lonely, repeating guitar riff and a single, weeping cello]
Crushing me... by the baked beans...
The excessive... immenseness...
Goodbye...
[Sound of a single, dramatic tear hitting a lino floor]