[Intro] [Fast-paced folk tune with banjo, fiddle, and mandolin]

[Verse 1] [Yorkshire Accent]
Now listen 'ere, you whippersnappers, with your streaming and your apps
You moan and groan about the Licence, and yer cuttin' it in halfs
But I'm 'ere to tell you, straight and true, you're lookin' at it wrong
The BBC's the best darn deal, fer just a measly song!

[Chorus] [All instruments join in, louder and faster]
It's fifteen quid a month, me lads, fer telly, radio, too!
From Doctor Who to Antiques Roadshow, somethin' fer me and you!
So raise a glass to Auntie Beeb, she brightens up our lives!
The Licence Fee's a bargain, lads, the best of all our wives!

[Verse 2] [Yorkshire Accent]
You say it's unfair on t' pensioners, the students and the poor?
Well, I say watch less telly then, and sweep yer bleedin' floor!
They give us news and documentaries, the Proms each summer night,
So stop yer fussin' and yer whinin', and turn on BBC One, right!

[Chorus] [More emphatic, slightly slurred]
It's fifteen quid a month, me lads, fer telly, radio, too!
From Doctor Who to Antiques Roadshow, somethin' fer me and you!
So raise a glass to Auntie Beeb, she brightens up our lives!
The Licence Fee's a bargain, lads, the best of all our wives!

[Bridge] [Slightly slower, more reflective – but still defiant]
Some say I'm stuck in Stockholm Syndrome, a puppet on a string
But I say they're just jealous 'cause the BBC makes their souls sing!
They fund the arts, they speak the truth, (well, most of the time!)
So I'll keep payin' my Licence Fee, 'til the very end of time!

[Chorus] [Faster, louder, more chaotic, with whoops and hollers]
It's fifteen quid a month, me lads, fer telly, radio, too!
From Doctor Who to Antiques Roadshow, somethin' fer me and you!
So raise a glass to Auntie Beeb, she brightens up our lives!
The Licence Fee's a bargain, lads, the best of all our wives!

[Outro] [Music fades out with a final, drunken "Huzzah!"]
