[Verse][Morrissey Style]
They gather 'round the sterile kitchen
A chorus of grinning, vacant souls
I clutch my warm can of cola
And feel my sense of self erode.

[Chorus][Melancholy Baritone]
Oh, the balloon is a lie, a papery sphere of deceit
Floating above the beige carpet, a symbol of joy bittersweet.
Another year older, another year closer to the abyss,
While they sing of cake and pleasantries, I drown in this existential hiss.

[Verse][Wistful Acoustic Guitar]
His name, I think, is David, or perhaps it's Stephen?
He offered me a biscuit once, a gesture so deeply unfeeling.
Now they've presented him with a voucher, a token of forced esteem,
And I'm trapped in this fluorescent purgatory, living out a plastic dream.

[Pre-Chorus][Building String Section]
The small talk like a suffocating fog,
Each forced laugh a tiny, painful prod.
Is this all there is? This mundane charade?
A manufactured happiness, a masquerade.

[Chorus][Full Band, Dramatic]
Oh, the balloon is a lie, a papery sphere of deceit
Floating above the beige carpet, a symbol of joy bittersweet.
Another year older, another year closer to the abyss,
While they sing of cake and pleasantries, I drown in this existential hiss.

[Bridge][Solemn Piano]
The cake, a saccharine monstrosity, adorned with tasteless icing,
Each slice a concession, a surrender to the rising tide of 'nice'.
I watch them chew, their faces bland, devoid of inner strife,
Oh, to escape this corporate cradle, this vapid excuse for life.

[Chorus][Defiant, Almost Shouting]
Yes, the balloon is a lie, a papery sphere of deceit!
Floating above the beige carpet, a symbol of joy bittersweet!
Another year older, another year closer to the abyss,
While they sing of cake and pleasantries, I drown in this existential hiss!

[Outro][Fading Strings and Morrissey's Spoken Word]
And the balloon... it just bobs there. Mocking.
Such... effort. For what?
Another quarterly report, perhaps.
One can only assume.
[Fade Out]