[Intro] [Fiddle, accordion, stomping boots]
Oi, gather round now! Have a moan!

[Verse 1]
Well, they’ve raised the bar, we’re working till we drop
Sixty-eight’s the number now, the goalpost just won’t stop
I remember when my granddad got a watch at sixty-five
Now we’ll be on the checkout, barely half-alive!

[Chorus] [Gang vocals, pint glasses clinking]
Raise the bar, raise the age,
We’re grafting on through every stage
But the robots are coming, and the AI too
We’ll all be pensioners soon, me and you!

[Verse 2]
There’s a robot on the till, and one that sweeps the floor
They don’t take a tea break, never ask for more
Polishing my CV, pretending to adapt
But the only job I’m fit for is a long afternoon nap

[Chorus]
Raise the bar, raise the age,
We’re grafting on through every stage
But the robots are coming, and the AI too
We’ll all be pensioners soon, me and you!

[Bridge] [Call-and-Response, rowdy]
Hey, AI, can you pour a pint?
(Aye, and it does it faster than me!)
Can you listen to my moans and groans?
(No, but it’s learning, wait and see!)

Gonna teach those robots how to grumble,
How to dodge a Monday shift
But until they’re whingeing like the rest of us,
I’ll just clock in and drift!

[Verse 3]
So save up all your pennies, and mind your weary bones
The future’s round the corner, full of silicon and drones
But when they sack us all, we’ll finally understand—
The only job left standing is the folk band!

[Chorus]
Raise the bar, raise the age,
We’re grafting on through every stage
But the robots are coming, and the AI too
We’ll all be pensioners soon, me and you!

[Outro] [Fiddle solo, crowd singalong]
We’ll all be pensioners soon, me and you!
Raise a glass, have a moan—it’s what we do!