[Intro]
[Orchestral swell, smooth jazz feel]

[Verse 1]
We married young, you know, quite a rush
Bought a little house, a tidy little crush
On forever, or so we thought it seemed
Living out a comfortable, suburban dream
(Sigh)

[Pre-Chorus]
Then the bills came, and the roof began to leak
Life got a little less, ah, chic
We settled down, repenting at leisure, dear
Wishin' those wilder days were still right here

[Chorus]
But then she left, my darling, my dove
For a one-eyed gasman, not made of love
He hailed from Widnes, a place I confess
Just added insult to my lonely distress
Oh, the indignity!

[Verse 2]
I pictured her, you know, a romantic flight
Underneath the pale moon's gentle light
But the reality, it hit me with a clang
He fixed her boiler, what a terrible pang!

[Pre-Chorus]
The mortgage payments, they still roll on through
But my heart's got a hole, it's sadly true
Repenting at leisure, a phrase so grand
When you're left with the bills, and no helping hand

[Chorus]
'Cause then she left, my darling, my dove
For a one-eyed gasman, not made of love
He hailed from Widnes, a place I confess
Just added insult to my lonely distress
Oh, the indignity!

[Bridge]
A one-eyed gasman... from Widnes...
It sounds like a joke, a cruel, cruel jest
I always thought I was such a catch
Now I'm just a man with a broken latch

[Solo]
[Smooth, melancholic saxophone solo]

[Chorus]
And yes, she left, my darling, my dove
For a one-eyed gasman, not made of love
He hailed from Widnes, a place I confess
Just added insult to my lonely distress
Oh, the indignity!

[Outro]
Repenting at leisure... oh yes, indeed...
With a one-eyed gasman planting his seed...
In my former garden... (voice trails off)
[Orchestra fades out slowly with a final, mournful chord]
