[Verse 1]
Spit in a tube for a discount price
A glimpse at paradise
A key to what’s inside
Nowhere for your secrets to hide
She’s got a map of where she’s been
Tattooed on her skin
But the legend’s in a code so mean
Yeah, the message is obscene

[Pre-Chorus]
And the email pings, the future sings
Oh, what ugly, lovely things it brings!

[Chorus]
Oh, Katie regrets that she had her DNA done!
Unzipped her life for a bit of fun!
Found a king in her family tree
Now he’s texting her for a royalty fee!
Oh, Katie regrets that she had her DNA done!

[Verse 2]
Turns out she’s 2% ancient fly
Compound eye
And 5% from a frozen sea
And a cousin in Dundee
He’s got her nose and her taste for gin
Says, “Hey, cousin, let me come on in!”
Now her inbox is a crying shame
A genealogical claim

[Pre-Chorus]
And the data drifts on a digital sea
Oh, who the hell is she supposed to be?

[Chorus]
Oh, Katie regrets that she had her DNA done!
Unzipped her life for a bit of fun!
Found a king in her family tree
Now he’s texting her for a royalty fee!
Oh, Katie regrets that she had her DNA done!

[Bridge]
Helix, spiral, breaking free
What’s inside of you and me?
Data mining, fate designing
No use whining, no use whining
23 and me, and thee, and everybody

[Chorus - Outro]
Oh, Katie regrets that she had her DNA done!
Unzipped her life for a bit of fun!
Found a king in her family tree
Now he’s texting her constantly!
Oh, Katie regrets…

“Turns out grandma knew a duke… or was it a cook?…
It’s all in the book…
98% neanderthal…
gimme a call…
haplogroup blues…
oh, Katie lost her shoes…
in the gene pool…
she broke the rule…”