[verse][gentle mood]
The candlelight was dancing soft
Upon the linen, fine and oft’
She spoke of art and summer wine
I thought, “This lady could be mine…”
But then a silence touched the air
A moment… empty… going nowhere…

[verse]
I glanced away to find my poise
Amidst the soft restaurant noise
But when I turned, my calm was slain
A tremor crossed my brow like pain
And then I saw it, clear and grim…
My future growing… truly dim…

[chorus][anger rising]
Must you eat with your fork in your right hand?
Who taught you that? Was it planned?
It’s not correct, it’s not refined
It rattles this poor troubled mind!
And just like that, the spell’s undone…
I’m sitting here… alone… again…

[bridge]
It’s not that I’m unreasonable… It’s just… standards, you see?
How can one build a future… on such asymmetry?

[chorus]
Must you eat with your fork in your right hand?
Don’t you understand?
It’s common practice—left then right—
Not this culinary blight!
So take your purse… I’ll get the bill…
Another night… gone sadly still…
[outro]
…Left for the main… right for the dessert…
It’s not that hard… goodness, it hurts…